2018 Ramadan Wrap-Up
Eid Mubarak everyone! Today marks the official end of the holy month of Ramadan for Muslims around the world. I wanted to do a wrap-up of what my Ramadan has been like; what I've learned, what I need to improve and what I enjoyed.
This Ramadan was a weird one for me. The first two weeks went by quickly and quietly. The second two weeks? Not so much. I wound up getting sick - I spent my birthday in bed on antibiotics. The day before my birthday one of my cats, Declan, had to be rushed for an emergency vet visit because he'd scrapped a layer of his eyeball off! This past week has been a period of convalescing for both us. He is still healing and still on a ton of meds, I am still on antibiotics, and it was all very very stressful. I also don't think I was as good about certain things as I had been in the past. Because I was spending a lot of time in bed my Twitter habit kicked in. I wasn't listening to the June book club pick because I was waiting until after Ramadan to begin it. I had managed to steer clear of other social media, but Twitter became my boredom crutch. And as we all know, Twitter can be a cesspool of negativity. If there is anything I would take away from this Ramadan is to find better ways to fill my time in situations like that that.
I will say that my feelings of needing to gripe or complain kicked in heavy in those last two weeks. I try to be more mindful of that during Ramadan (and should really practice that year round!), but this year was a bit harder for me. Having to cancel my birthday plans and spend the day sick in bed made me a bit of a Debbie Downer. Also not being able to blog as I'd planned got me down as well (I had such fun birthday content planned!)
Two things that I am proud of is staying on top of reading the Qur'an throughout the month - despite hiccups during the latter part. This was due to planning ahead. I read a ton at the beginning of Ramadan to give myself leeway for the days I would find myself unable to do so. Which came in handy on those days spent at the vet and sick in bed. I finished reading the final chapter on time, last night. Yay, me!
I also did a good job of counting my blessings. I know that sounds like a total contradiction considering what I wrote above. But there would have been a time when something like that would have sent me into a depression spiral. Birthdays are generally hard for me depression-wise anyway they can often be quite triggering for me. This birthday was as well - to a point - but not nearly as much as it has been in the past or could have been. I found that any negative thoughts I had I was able to turn around quickly before they mushroomed. More than anything I just reminded myself that if that was least of my life's worries I was doing pretty damn good. Was I sad? Yes. But not as much as I could have been. And that's a small victory for me. The day passed and I was relatively okay the next. That's a win.
So I look back at this Ramadan as a bit of a mixed bag. Every Ramadan is different. Every year I learn something and my goal is first and foremost to reaffirm my faith, to grow in understanding and to grow in my discipline as a person. Sometimes I hit all three and sometimes I may only hit two and sometimes I miss by a wider margin than I would like. But that's okay. Ramadan is such a personal experience for everyone. Just as one's relationship to God (or higher being) is. And I try to remind myself that my journey doesn't have to look like or be like anyone else's as long as I get to the correct destination.
Eid Mubarak everyone!